Feedback Notes

Feedback- definition: giving someone information about themselves, their actions or behaviours, either positive or negative, (if negative, that we would like them to change), within a specific context (i.e. volunteer relationship)

Feedback- group's definition: - a critique (+/-) of someone else's work - can be verbal or non-verbal - a dialogue - not enjoyable- giving and receiving - sometimes difficult to get - requires follow up - timing is important

Sharing Our Feedback Stories What makes a feedback experience.... Negative: - not feeling valued - disempowered - indifference - unexpected bombshells - lack of preparation - coming too late - being humiliated - interpretation as observation - lack of dialogue - feeling judged, misunderstood - hurtful comments

Positive: - being frank, open, genuine - sincerity - no hidden agenda - kind and caring, really wanting to help - taking time and effort to be specific - holistic, includes both praise and constructive criticism - being open, not defensive - motivated - feeling cared for, valued, empowered - being respected

Feedback can be experienced in many different ways. It is not always a good experience, nor is it easy to give effective feedback or to hear poorly given feedback. Indeed, the ability to give really good and effective feedback does not necessarily come naturally. Yet, as leaders, communicating effective feedback is an essential skill to have, so that the process of giving and receiving feedback leaves each participant empowered, respected, motivated and valued as opposed to judged, misunderstood, insecure, defensive, resentful, angry or hurt. To this end, given the challenges and difficulty surrounding feedback, it follows that giving effective feedback is a skill that needs to be developed through intention and practice.

There are many tools and techniques available to help one achieve this. This workshop presents one model that can be very useful in many different settings. Keep in mind though, that this is just one technique. It is not a 'one size fits all' solution that will fix all your communication needs. Rather it is one place to start from, to initiate working towards positive, productive dialogue. This process is one that is constantly shifting and being refined.

The material presented in this workshop was developed by Marshal Rosenberg, psychologist and founder of the Centre for Non-Violent Communication. He wrote a small volume in the 80's on how to give feedback. He refers to a technique which he calls Empowering Evaluations. In contrast to the term 'feedback', Empowering Evaluations emphasize that what we are communicating is empowering and nurturing to the other person.

There are four elements to Empowering Evaluations: What we are: 1. observing 2. feeling 3. valuing 4. requesting

1. What we are observing. -separate our observation of an action/behaviour from our evaluation/interpretation of it - be aware of: loaded phrases the verb 'to be'(i.e. 'you are so....', 'why aren't you more...') words expressing exaggeration- 'always', 'never' assumptions - be specific - stick to the facts- express only what you know through direct observation - express what you are reacting to without mixing in own personal judgments, opinions, assumptions of the observed action/behaviour

2. What we are feeling. - our opportunity to express how a person's actions/behaviour makes us feel - when expressed clearly, people generally care about our feelings and are motivated to cooperate and willing to work together with us - be careful not to diagnose or judge - be sincere

3. What we are valuing. - explain why we feel they way we do - provide information about our interpretation of a situation - express why it is important to us (our values) - use 'because I' statements - remember: our values may not be universal, what is important to us may not be important to others - be aware of the personal nature of our values - be aware of cultural, language, gender differences

4. What we are requesting - requests are the 'work' we would like to have done (the change in an action/behaviour) - be specific - use positive action language - ask for what you want,not just what you don't want - express your expectations

Example statement before Empowering Evaluation: You are the most irresponsible and lazy person I know. You never do the work you say you are going to do! What's the matter with you?

Example statement using Empowering Evaluation: 1)Observation: The last three tasks you took responsibility for were not completed by the due date we agreed on, 2)Feeling: and I'm very angry and upset 3)Value: because it meant more work for everyone else and I think it's important that the workload is shared evenly among team members. 4)Request: I expect everyone to complete their work on time and I would like you to finish this project by the next time we meet.

The Fifth Element - always allow the other person the opportunity to speak - ask for what the other needs, how you can help - this is a dialogue, may need to return to and refine previous step in the process - be prepared that things will shift as more information becomes available - be prepared to adjust your request accordingly to accommodate the other's needs - there is no one perfect statement

Some Other Things to Keep in Mind: - try to understand where the other person might be coming from - think about possible reasons for their behaviour - don't rush to condemn - be thoughtful and reflective when constructing an empowering evaluation, situations are often loaded and emotions may be running high

Group Discussion of Role Play - empowering evaluations not that easy - so many unknown variables - didn't really understand the 'valuing' part of the statement - normal response would be to mix interpretation with observation - structure helps to be calm, thoughtful, careful, less angry