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Six Rules of Karaoke Song Singing

Rule one: Complete action.

This is a term coined by a karaoke-obsessed Indonesian journalist called Donny Dahono, the initial bloke to ever drag me along to karaoke, who would explode with rage if the singer remaining seated, turned away from your crowd, or offered something less than what he understood to be �full action�. Donny makes a crucial point. It's unlikely that any of us can really sing anyway so why not over-compensate with stage profile? Also, to use a radio phrase, there should never be any �dead air�. When you get in make sure everyone has a song lined up and wait your own turn for the first hour, before taking on all-comers in a shameless bet to sing everything.

Rule two: Respect the music.

As a wise karaoke-loving friend applies it: �Karaoke�s not there being taken seriously, but it�s not regarding showing off or taking the mickey.� Karaoke really should not be approached with a sense of slacker paradox. Air Supply, Barry Manilow, Your Carpenters�these are great artists. And if you find yourself singing All Out of Love, Mandy or perhaps Superstar, remember you are honored you are to have custody for these a classic song and should try to do it justice over the following three minutes.

Rule three: Respect the singer.

Anyone that is up there having a move should be supported. They should not be laughed at, heckled, howled down. Vocal range along is fine, but they really should not be drowned out. And unless the song is a duet, usually do not join the singer in stage unless invited. In addition - despite those advertising and marketing opportunists at Idol turning William �She Bangs� Put up into a minor star, nothing is innately funny about folks singing in an Asian accentuate, even if they are doing Crocodile Rock.

Rule four: Duets are fine yet no group songs.

Unless of course it becomes a group by accident due to the fact everyone in the room is singing along.

Rule five: No-one will be allowed to do Khe Sanh.

Except Sculpt. And no-one�s allowed to do My Way either.

Rule six: Karaoke must be mixed.

That is, mixed in terms of ballads and up-tempo numbers, as well as mixed in terms of gender. Whilst I�m sure it�s fine for women to go to karaoke in a group, there�s something somewhat effete about doing it with all adult men, which no amount of Black Sabbath can erase.

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